When you're holding onto old emotions of heavy resentment , anger, or hatred towards another, its a painful thing to live with. To put it simply, your feelings get stuck. When forgiving someone, the will can't be pressured until it is ready. The intent of wanting or being willing to forgive requires honesty, and self-acceptance. It also helps to have the ability to deal with your emotions. We learn to create kindness instead of focusing on others' mistakes. Forgiveness means letting go of past resentments, and owning up to our own behaviors. It is a willingness to look at our past with humor. Forgiveness has this uncanny ability to bring humility of self, which in turn brings a feeling a gratitude for life. Gratitude is a blessing, which greater happiness can be manifested. "The forgiving state of mind is a magnetic power for attracting good." by practicing gratitude, we may begin to recognize the goodness of our lives, and when we are in a forgiving state, gratitude will come easy.
As an ongoing daily practice and process, forgiveness can encourage a greater self-love and soothes our relationships with others. Our lack of self-love affects our ability to love others. If we can forgive, our perceptions of events that occur will change. Forgiveness holds the promise of greater happiness by first forgiving ourselves. Often times we blame ourselves for which keeps us from loving others. Forgiveness of self allows for forgiving of others, and releases us from self-hatred while opening doors to faith in life and people. Forgiveness IS the ultimate healing force.
"True Forgiveness is the recognition that the event never happened the way we had perceived it. The miracle is the change in perception. With forgiveness, the idea of separation disappears so the healing is accomplished. We are reunited- or know we were never separated- from Goddess or from each other."
A Forgiveness Meditation:
- Close your eyes and visualize the person(s) that you have resentment and wish to forgive.
- Let him/her into your heart space.
- Feel him/her as part of you, and say to this specific person how you feel: "I forgive you for whatever you have done, through your words actions or thoughts that caused me pain, whether it was intentional or unintentional." Realize that this is a difficult process, so please don't be too critical of yourself if this doesn't come easily. Repeat the above forgiveness affirmation, or create one of your own that you feel touches on your specific situation that needs healing.
- The affirmation "I forgive you" is powerful in itself being said several times as you envision the person that has caused the hurt. As you do these affirmations you begin the process to open your heart bit by bit. It might hurt, be gentle with yourself let go of the incredible anger, bitterness, hardness, and resentment as much as you can.
- If you would like someone to forgive you, you can also practice this meditation using the same technique , only asking for forgiveness. Allow compassion, gentleness, and love to enter your heart.
Forgive Others, Forgive Yourself.